He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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