I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
