I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
