i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
