I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
