Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you win again, gameday.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
