I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
