It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
