There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
