Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
