Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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