I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
