Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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