Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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