NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
