i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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