ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't deserve a penis
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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