If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
bring money and cleavage
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I fill condoms, not promises.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
