# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
