i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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