I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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