and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
