That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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