don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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