You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
