Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i think im in europe. pls send help
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize