whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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