I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
