just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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