You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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