y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
