it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
