ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
