if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She told me I should be a condom model.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have post one night stand depression
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