i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
