Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
