I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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