i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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