I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
