no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
