Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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