There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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