thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
