Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
