I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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