I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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