We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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