that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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