the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yo dont text me then not text me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
