I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
