I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
