Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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