who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
