He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
