But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
