She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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