What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
