i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
