oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
