My hand turned me down
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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