Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize