Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
