You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
