well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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