Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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